Five Stages

To experiment with humanity and emotions and our range of reactions, so I decided to write short things on the five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Five_stages_of_grief The stages are in thought form.

Situation one: A twenty two year old beautiful vibrant college sorority girl, Jayne, goes partying one night after her final biology exam. She hopes to be a pediarist. She is tall, blonde, beautiful, the belle of the ball. A little stuck up, which calls the attention of several men. On the way back, inebriated, she barely notices the direction the car is going, distractedly staring out a window while her (also inebriated and high) friend drives. They run a red and get struck by a truck. The friend dies on scene. Jayne awakes to find her legs missing, she’ll never walk again.

Denial: Wha-what?! No. there’s no way. It’s a mistake. Like a paperwork mix up or something. It happens. I’ll lift the blanket and my legs will be there. Those sorts of things don’t happen to girls like me. Or I’ll wake up and it’ll be a dream. A crazy dream. I’ll have aced Winthrop’s exam. It’s a dream, it has to be.

Anger: No way! There’s just! I’ll kill ‘em, kill ‘em all. There’s no way. I’d kill Jordyn, if she were still alive, and that f*cking trucker too. They killed my future. I hate ‘em all.

Bargaining: I’ll give anything to walk again. I’ll go back to church, be reborn, give God back my virginity. I’ll move back to Idaho, stop smoking and drinking, have eight kids that I take to church on Sundays. Just let me walk again.

Depression. I wish the accident would’ve killed me. I hate not wailing, seeing the same four walls, hearing my mom cry in the bathroom. I’ve got no future.

Acceptance: It doesn't matter. This won’t stop me. I aced that exam, and the college will take me back. I’ll get around in a wheelchair. I don’t care. I can still get married, have kids, do the whole thing. This won’t stop me.

Situation two: an eighty nine year old woman, Charlotte, is diagnosed with a serious, aggressive type of cancer, in her kidneys. The doctors say chances of survival are slim. She’s been married for 71 years, (since she was eighteen) and has three grown children, and seven grandchildren. She was a teacher for 46 years, and used to teach Sunday school. An avid and active member of the community, she is also well educated and traveled.

Denial: No, no. it must be something else. The doctor must be wrong; I’ll get a second opinion. I’ve gone this long; it can’t be cancer, not now.

Anger: But why?! I’ve been a good mother, good wife, good member of the community, devoted myself to the way of God and good values!! Why me, why now?! What have I done wrong?!

Bargaining: I’ll go back to teaching Sunday school. Please God, I’m not ready to go home yet. Just let me see my grandkids grow up, graduate. Please, just let me have one more year with my husband.

Depression: I guess nothing matters anymore. I don’t feel like cooking or walking or trying to enjoy the last few days. The shadow of death just makes it too hard.

Acceptance: It could kill me, it could not. I’ll just have to live with that fact. But meanwhile I’ll enjoy my husband, and the kids, and the grandkids, maybe even travel some more. It doesn’t matter, I have to die someday. If its not, well then it’ll be now.

Situation three: Jason, a thirty year old handsome stockbroker is living a charmed life. He is financially successful, well-liked, has a solid group of friends dating back to grade school. He has a beautiful, smart fiancée, Heidi, who he full heartedly loves. He has recently asked best friend Anthony to be his best man. He arrives from a meeting with his bosses that tell him he ha been promoted to find Heidi and Anthony having sex in his bed.

Denial: it can’t be. That’s probably not Heidi. Anthony’s a stud; it’s probably some chick he picked up at a bar. I’m being an idiot. Later Heidi’ll come home and we’ll laugh it off and he’ll still be my best man and she my wife to be.

Anger: how could they?! I trusted them, loved them, and they betrayed me!! How, why on earth would they do this to me! The world must hate me, something’s out to get me. I hope they all rot.

Bargaining: I’ll spend more time with Heidi. Be a better boyfriend. Hang out with Anthony more, go back to our Sunday basketball games. Just…there has to be a way to undo it. I’ll do anything, give up my job, my arm, anything. Just give me back my life like it was before.

Depression: Yeah, it’s my fifth beer, so? It’s not like it matters. Who am I going home to? And they’ve given me the next two months off, for the honeymoon. The f*cking honeymoon. Oh god. If I’m not here, drinking, I’m at home drinking, or stomaching my mom wailing about the breaking of the engagement. Thank god I sold that gun, or…who knows what I’d do. I’d rather be scraped of the floor by a bartender instead of the empty apartment, alone.

Acceptance: that’s it. Nothing to do now. I’ve got to move on. Maybe even be friends with them gain. They loved each other ore than they did me. I can’t undo it, or change their minds. I’m working again, moving on to dating in the near future. I still got my health, and my mom, and my friends. Most of them anyway. Who knows? Maybe I’ll find someone better suited for me. And Rachel, the cute ad exec that works for the company is pretty nice, and she flirted with me before the incident. She’s doing it more now. We’ve got more in common too. Life is looking…almost good.